Guys, Here is how not to get caught cheating

"Over the past years I’ve been much more open to getting into a relationship with a girl I like, but unfortunately I can’t tame the dog inside me that wants to f**k a new girl every other week." I'm pretty sure most people have either said or thought about this.  

Obviously most people believe cheating on your girlfriend is morally wrong, what I believe is more wrong is choosing to bang your girl without a condom and then creep without one as well because you’re exposing her to diseases that could create an uncomfortable situation.

Ps. If you want to cheat make sure you don't get yourself caught, because what happens is in an attempt to f**k every hottie out there you might end up losing something more stable with a girl that you actually care for. 

Here’s what I do to make sure that doesn’t happen:

1. Get started on the right foot. Do not get into that pattern where you must talk on the phone every day. To accomplish this you’ll have to state that you need your “space” early in the relationship, that you don’t want it to get into that friendly boring zone where you’re talking about what time you woke up and what you had for lunch. She’ll honor your request but slip and send frequent text messages, which is fine— it’s easy to creep with another girl when all you gotta do is send texts.

2. Don’t give her access to your phone.
This is how 90% of guys get caught cheating. They left their phone laying around, unlocked, and the girl finds incriminating text messages. It’s easy to brush off female numbers in your phone as old, but not a whatsapp message stamped yesterday where you confirmed fresh plans. Either delete the text messages manually before you see her or lock your keypad. Fail to do either and you will get busted eventually, guaranteed. Girls are savvy with cell phones and only need sixty seconds to sift through your messages or call history.

3. Don’t create a lasting impression with her friends. 
While some guys will argue that a way to win a girl is through her friends, I only find that to be the case with very young girls around JHS or SHS age—once she’s in her mid-20’s she doesn’t seek as much approval from her friends as before. (Unless of course she is extremely childish) If you’re meeting her friends for the first make sure you they don't get too comfortable with you. Remain formal as possible. This is because just in case they meet you creeping around somewhere they might not be able to make you out right away. Never follow them on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. 

4. Do not mix dating venues. You want to have two parallel sets of venues to minimize cross contamination. If you take your girlfriend to the same bar as your side chicks, a bartender or regular may tip her off while you’re in the bathroom. We all know those don’t-date-him girls who’s life mission it is to warn other women of cheating men.

5. Always keep number four in mind. 

6.Pick a friend who will be your go-to excuse for why you can’t hang out with her. It’s best she has met the friend. Be consistent and have him be the excuse whenever you couldn't hang with her. 

7.Be mindful of when you blow your load. If your girl expects a gallon of cum on her face when you bang, and then this one time have a trickle because you just got done with another girl, warning signs are going to go off in her head. Therefore regulate your horniness and sperm quantity. If you know it takes two days to recharge after a lengthy sex episode, then allow that much time before f*cking a mistress and then your girl. 

8.Try to do your mistresses at their places. You don’t want her to leave something behind like a bobby pin, unique perfume scent, or blood. Also realize that a girl can tell the difference between a strand of her hair that is hers and one that is only 5% different. If you have to do a mistress in your place then commit yourself to a CSI-like clean sweep afterwards. Do not get lazy at this step. View your room from many different angles, get on your knees, and go sniffing around everywhere. Don't flush used condoms down the toilet though, place them in the wipes deposit deep in the kitchen trash can.

9.Construct and rehearse your alibi. Anticipate what questions your girl is going to ask and have simple, quick answers to them. 

10.Read your Bible, pray about it to God and ask him to give you the strength to stay away from all those side chicks.
Remember one good girl is better than a thousand side chicks. 

Hope these tips help you to stay and keep your relationships.  


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Reuters: Top News